so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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