i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
