This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
