yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
