i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize