I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize