im drinking this country out of the recession.
now i know why i became what i already was.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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