yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I've blown a few things in my day
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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