Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you

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  (310): I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you http://tfl.nu/5bao
  Replies (20) Good night (4905) Bad night (678)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.

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  (203): she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it. http://tfl.nu/xu40
  Replies (12) Good night (1771) Bad night (3304)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.

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  (513): I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered. http://tfl.nu/5t2g
  Replies (15) Good night (3971) Bad night (949)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.

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  (540): It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd. http://tfl.nu/h39y
  Replies (8) Good night (2268) Bad night (1136)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.

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  (701): Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend. (701): The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer. http://tfl.nu/9cgs
  Replies (7) Good night (2060) Bad night (881)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn

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  (413): Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn http://tfl.nu/nu2n
  Replies (8) Good night (713) Bad night (1189)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?

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  (914): He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit? http://tfl.nu/zvq6
  Replies (9) Good night (2584) Bad night (564)
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  (661): View more from California

  I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.

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  (661): I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore. http://tfl.nu/4rua
  Replies (7) Good night (795) Bad night (997)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.

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  (970): That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's. http://tfl.nu/h55c
  Replies (1) Good night (1262) Bad night (665)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.

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  (706): I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart. http://tfl.nu/7g13
  Replies (3) Good night (1124) Bad night (498)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.

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  (215): no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus. http://tfl.nu/psky
  Replies (7) Good night (831) Bad night (406)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear

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  (512): my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear http://tfl.nu/fox2
  Replies (2) Good night (806) Bad night (317)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.

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  (334): Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots. http://tfl.nu/hhuz
  Replies (5) Good night (727) Bad night (278)
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  (408): View more from California

  I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not

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  (408): I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not http://tfl.nu/5y8f
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (189)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!

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  (417): When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it! http://tfl.nu/b9cd
  Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (202)

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