There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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