her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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