it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
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I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.