I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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