We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize