just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
