You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
