its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He keeps bees of course he's weird
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
