yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
