were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
