I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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