Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize