i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
