Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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