i don't plan on having that self control this summer
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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