So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
