We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
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I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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