Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I AM VODKA MAN
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
