She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
