i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
