I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
