I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
