I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm like, not good at living.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
