it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
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Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
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I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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