I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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