the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
