It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
