Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
