Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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