Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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