used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize