how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize