i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
