Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
