the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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