So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
