she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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