wanna go halves on a baby?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
