Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.â€
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