Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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