Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
