Will you blow on my dice?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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