i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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