You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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