I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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