I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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