he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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