i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Mom said you looked used
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Randomize
