You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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