I could have mohawked her pubes.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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