Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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