Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
