i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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