I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
