I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
