Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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