my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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